Who… Doctor Who….. (with apologies to 007) DRAFT

This week we picked a new Doctor.

Not a new physician.  This was important!  A new ‘DOCTOR WHO!’

Well, let’s be frank.  “We” didn’t pick him.  Steven Moffat, head honcho in charge of the franchise (and savior or devil depending on your point of view), and his crew in merry ole England did.  We had no say about it.  Our say started about 2:25 PM Eastern time on Sunday afternoon, August 4, 2013.

It was at that time, that one Peter Capaldi, a 55 year old Scot was chosen to carry the mantle of television’s longest running science fiction show.


I like the choice.  Overall, I think the fandom likes the choice.  (Personally speaking, the older you get, the more you like “mature” actors getting some good parts.)  We go from the youngest debuting Doctor ever (Matt Smith at 27) to Capaldi, who will be the same age as William Hartnell (Doctor #1) was when the franchise started.  Hartnell however, whether it be through hard living or makeup, looks like Methusaleh compared to Capaldi.  (And upon regeneration this November, Capaldi, although still 55, will be a few months younger than Hartnell was.)

Seventeen year old girls aside, I think the new Doctor’s age is relatively unimportant.  Something else matters.  Far more than that.  And that’s direction.

Enter stage right, James Bond.

I love James Bond.  Always have.  The fever hit me for real during the underwater fight scene in Thunderball and it’s been going ever since.

There are similarities of course between Bond & the Doctor.  British.  Something of a loner.  Surrounded by interesting people.  A different face every few years.

Which leads  me to that ‘direction’ thing I mentioned.  Along the way, six actors have played the character of James Bond.  Six very different, very unique actors.

Occasionally I’m asked, who’s your favorite Bond?  (Just like ‘who’s your favorite Doctor?’)  And in both instances, I can’t answer.  You see, I like the character.  And I find things in each and every one of them that I do like.  And time gives us the benefit of seeing what worked and what didn’t, and why things had to be the way they were.

Sean Connery begat George Lazenby which began Connery (again) which led to Roger Moore.  All was well.  (For a while)

Moore was dashing and funny, but the direction was wrong.  Silly gadgets and super villains took the soul of the series, and by the end of Roger Moore’s run, interest (and ticket sales) were down.  The movies had become comic books, with fights in space, laser beams and other nonsense.

Direction dictated something different, and that was Timothy Dalton.  He brought a much more serious Bond onto the screen.  When he threatened, you knew he meant it.

Dalton took us to Pierce Brosnan.  A good move for the Bond franchise.  He was more likable, scripts were better, the gadgets were still there, but interest in the movies started to build again.

I remember the day it was announced Pierce was out.  I was shocked.  Things had gone so well with him.  But once again, direction was the key.

The 007 producers knew they needed to go back to the basics.  They broke the mold, hired a blonde Daniel Craig.  It was said he wasn’t handsome enough.  He didn’t LOOK like “Bond”.  There was talk of boycotting his first movie.

And when he was introduced, he was brought by boat on the Thames and the uproar was that he wore a LIFE JACKET!!!!!  Gasp!!!!

Not only that, suddenly the previous 40+ years of movies and tradition went out the window.  Bond wasn’t even a ‘double oh’ yet.  No Aston Martin.  No sight gags.  No suitcases full of futuristic gadgets.  Back to the basics.

it worked.  People loved the character.  The direction was set and it was the proper one.

Which brings us back to Doctor Who and Peter Capaldi.

First off, he’s not too old.  If you think he is, move along.  Nothing to see here.

The only thing his age will do is change the direction.  It will temper the ‘flirtations’ that have gone on the last few seasons between the younger David Tennant and the MUCH younger Matt Smith and some of the companions. He will again be the wiser, more mature figure that the companions follow.

It will be fun, and perhaps a tad more serious.  The only people who won’t like it are the nouveau fans who kept hoping the Doctor would hook up with the companion.  That wasn’t going to happen.  So let’s move on.  Let’s change the direction.

And imagine the fireworks should the new Doctor and River Song get on the same screen.

C’mon Moffat.  You can do it.






Lady, your 7 year old ain’t on Facebook!

First off, the following rant could apply just as easily to a dad as it does a mom.  It just happened that a mom inspired it.

ProudMommy_animated_answer_1_xlargeEver get tired of the messages that appear on your computer screen aimed at someone who will never friggin SEE it?

Say WHAT, you ask?  What is ELO rambling on about now?

Saw a message tonight from one of my “friends”, (you know, the ones who are ‘friends’, but who you don’t know who the hell they are?), saying… “On my way to <random kids name> ballgame.  I LOVE YOU BABY”.

OK, so she’s going to the game, and obviously the kid who is probably 17 or 18 will be excited later when he logs onto his Facebook page to catch up on Candy Crush or to catch up on his sexting and will see that mom was talking about him.  Right?!?


I looked at the pictures and saw the kid probably wasn’t more than seven years old.  Too damned young to be on Facebook.

If you love your kid and want the world to know it, just say so.  “I WANT ALL OF YOU “FRIENDS” TO KNOW I HAVE THE MOST WONDERFUL KID IN THE WORLD AND I LOVE HIM/HER/IT!  And since they don’t have a Facebook page, just thought I’d tell you since this is the most exciting thing that’s happened to me today.”

Your “friends”, (even the ones who actually KNOW you), will really appreciate it….

(And don’t EVEN get me started about the parents and grandparents who wish kids under 5 ‘Happy Birthday’ on social media sites…  My head might explode…)


I’m not like that, I’m ANDROID…

From 2015.

OK, so yesterday I sort of “went off” on Facebook & Twitter because of a lady on a cell phone.  Even worse, HOLDING a cell phone.  I realize that sometimes its the ‘little things’ that get you going, and I also realize I’m in danger of becoming the Andy Rooney of my generation.  So be it.  (He’s dead after all.  And we NEED a replacement.)

Being a 24/7 card carrying smartphone freak, I have no problem with you, your phone, your laptop or even your iPad or equivalent.  Stay on them 24 hours a day for all I care, as long as it doesn’t interfere or hold up other people!!  

Now.  To the incident that started my weekend.

First of all, I love self checkouts!

Call me?

Call me?

Maybe its the geek in me that considers it just another gadget.  I get there and internally I have a race with myself to get through the process as quickly as possible.  Unless I have 30 items, I always check myself out.  If there are people waiting, I consider it my duty to do the procedure like the Flash going through pizza, so that others can have their turn.  I think of myself as the ‘Lance Armstrong of the self checkout lane‘, (minus the EPO and the fact that Sheryl Crow won’t return my calls!).

At the same time, I hate checkouts (self OR staffed) when people aren’t prepared to “do their bid-ness” and get going.  If you wait until AFTER the total is given to you, and you THEN pull out your checkbook and start to write, making sure that your third grade writing instructor would be proud as you slowly and meticulously write each and every letter as a DaVinci work of art, we’ve got a problem.  You should have been filling in the date and all the superfluous stuff before this point.  You’re holding up the line!

So yesterday, on the way home, I stop by Kroger, for a couple of items.  In and to the self checkout in less than two minutes.  Knew what I wanted, got the items and headed to the lane.


It was there I met my nemesis.  The ‘Lex to my Clark’.  The ‘Bird to my Magic’.  The ‘Catwoman to my Batman’.  (Though this sure wasn’t Julie Newmar!)

She stood there, at the self checkout, slow, meticulously, utilizing one hand to scan her items through the machine.  I repeat, utilizing ONE HAND to scan her items through the machine!  Why, one hand?  Because, she couldn’t put down her precious iPhone from the OTHER hand.  Now, lets assume there is an emergency call that someone NEEDS to take.  I have ZERO problem with you talking to your bookie about this week’s big game, your kid’s principal about why once again he’s in detention, or any other such stuff.  Emergencies happen!

So, I do tolerate emergencies.  I do.  I’m understanding in that sort of way.   Helluva guy, that BBM!

She wasn’t talking on her phone.  She was holding it.  She wasn’t talking on her phone.  She was holding it.  (Yes, this was repeated for emphasis)  Holding it like a pacifier.

This wasn’t a person with 2 or 3 or 5 items.  Probably 20 – 25.  And each one was individually dragged across the scanner with one hand, iPhone HELD in the other and then clumsily placed one handed in a bag.  (Keeping in mind that if there wasn’t an open bag, she had to set the ITEM down (not the precious phone), pull open a bag, and THEN place the item in the bag.)  Added to this was the fact that after every single item, she’d do a 360 look around the area to see if anything had changed in the store in the last 10 seconds.

The Author (computer aged)

The Author (computer aged)

I realize that most people probably wouldn’t have even noticed this.  She was 75% done when I walked up.  The whole incident as I noticed it might have only taken 2, maybe 3 minutes.  That’s not the point, TYVM.  The point is, it was flat out rude to not get your ample butt in gear, put down the phone, and check your items.

Maybe I need to take up yoga, or deep breathing or some other relaxing exercise.  I’ll check into that.  One day.

PS.. As I was walking to the parking lot, she was meticulously (I like that word) loading her items from the cart into the back of her standard issue mini-van.  She was doing it one handed.  Her left hand still clutching the iPhone that had caused the world so much grief and anguish.

Somebody get ‘Seal Team Six’ on the phone.  I’ve got a job for them.